one thing i've learned this year is to move on.
i earmark this year. fairly special. fairly depressing. losing friends. making new ones. three car accidents. i even tried a bit of origami; not my best talent. witnessed forty-five deaths. breast cancer. i miss those faces -wherever they may be.
the summer seemed like a conclave of emotions. A walked in to my life. B walked out. she wanted it. so badly. and i remember nights after nights over the telephone, we would wire our feelings. sometimes gleeful. sometimes distressing. we crafted a future. holding hands and sucking lips. but i walked away. on a cloudy night. a silent tuesday.
and then came R. bubbly and cheerful at first, fairly nonpareil. i will admit, my emotions strengthened. but i never let proximity become an excuse. we communicated. sometimes. and spoke about how wonderful it would be to run away in the distance. travel the skies. through a circuit of cultures, and rhythms and sketchy monuments. we thought we would grow. as responsible individuals. at the behest of time. we molded ourselves as dolls of innocence. but we broke apart. and i gave thanks. silently. thanksgiving was meaningful.
on the patio by the lake, i made a figurine. out of snow. of the delicate breasts. i remember C. i miss you dear.
