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i am by the bed. and the lights burn. they glow. on my skin. wet tonight. wet with water. from my eyes. heavy with flesh. heavy with thought. heavy with uncertainty. i am tired. burning sometimes. this make believe microcosm. of vaginas and pain. of cancer and love. of tragedy. and the rejects on the alleyway. lined up in the tapestry. of cardiac embroidery. of pumps. and gasps. of drowning fetuses. screaming through the tunnel. of darkness. of hope. i want to see your face. the caricature of your brows. and how they play on the crescent of the moon. jaundiced with turmeric from the night sky. burning. and glowing. in the blackout of the universe. the continuum of race. of racing men. and organic love. plastic on the brow. bending. and twisting. twirling and swirling in the stillness of mid-air. in the blue of chlorine. and the green of bile. smudged. smudged onto your chest. smudged with ten fingers of bones and curls. and pressure. i tremble tonight. and swirl with diamonds on my temple. diamonds of rust. brewing. and smoking. steaming. in the moonlight of a september evening. ribbons curling. and curling. and yelling monogamy. tonight i think of picasso. and degas. and the kiss. the kiss i kiss. on the silk of love. this aphrodisiac of passion. diffusing like vapor. stain. menstruation. and the blood of life. the blood of love. the blood of your womb. veiled in fear. i am coming out of your canal. i shiver tonight. that blood i want to taste. your taste of womanhood. your taste of adulthood. my brain sweats and freezes. embracing the past. this life i have lived. a child of billions. when i was born. when was i born? i do not remember. and i cry tonight. when you say you believe in me. why? why? why do you believe in this orchestra of fate? and watch my hands? as they curl and fold and crease and tremble...in this tapestry of life. i shiver tonight. at the moon. my eyes. are shot. they bleed. and bleed. and bleed. and beat. i feel my heart. it beats so coy. so shy. leaping on my hand as i place it on my chest. my drying tongue.

what happened tonight? this game of tears?