summer song

and this is a summer song i wrote while you were away. a probable collage of confessions and thoughts. forgive me if it hurts. i promise, i mean every word i say.

i will not hesitate to say that your selfishness lines your smile. that your fingers curl up to grip a desire. unexpressed yet meant. and when i see you next, i will laugh within. you will never know who you are. and when i slip away into the shade, you will lose my trail. forever, with no return. and i will be honest, when i saw your tassels the other day, it made me laugh. it made me laugh not because of you, but because of me. because i learned my folly, after so many days.

and when i went back home that one time, i ran around the streets imagining you were here. what if you had fathered a vision that i had never known. and you lied to me. endlessly. for the sake of motion. for the sake of twining around the spiral. the spiral where your shadows fall into the pit.

but you don't realize that this world is a maze. a maze where you forget the ends. without escape. a maze where you smile. repeatedly. because that is the key to the nearby exit.

mister y, go away.